 Ellen Katz MS, MFT. |
What I love it that we can be here together, right now, wherever our bodies happen to be physically. You found me, and now I can do what I do best: be here with you, share with you, honor you. Let's breathe. It's incredible that “science” can now prove what sages, prophets and shamans were teaching thousands of years ago. Wherever our species came from, we seem to have known some very profound things for ages - in other words, wisdom isn't something that's evolving - it's been around longer than we can imagine. Yet we seem to be destined to repeat the same “mistakes” no matter what tough lessons our ancestors have been given. |
Fear, greed, ignorance, violence and betrayal continue to pervade our lives, as they have throughout our universal human story. We default to our animal instincts, which can be skewed by trauma, loss, and shock. Is it even possible to move beyond what seems to be our human nature – this unceasing drama of the human condition? Or is this just it, do we just have to suck it up and bulldoze through it?
One thing we now know, literally know for sure is that when we consciously pause and slowly inhale, exhale, and do that again a few more times…. We change our brain chemistry, and when at that moment we learn how to become the observers of our thoughts and actions, to take the position of the witness, we move from the<a href='http://www.kinsolutions.com' target='_blank'>Web Hosting</a> by KIN Solutions base of the mountain to the top. We see the vista of our options. We reconnect with our choice.
In the Old Testament God said: I put before you the Blessing and the Curse; Choose Life. If we consider that this commandment is actually a loving cue from the universe, perhaps we have been given a hint, a simple secret of life from the Source. At each moment of NOW we have a choice to think of what is life-giving or life-depleting - and then we get to choose it... or not. In that sense we really were created in the image of God. We create, with every choice in every moment, what happens next in our minds, our attitudes, our lives.
The fact that we have this internal compass - the capacity to pause and listen internally to the voice that knows intuitive what is truly life enhancing - means that we all have what will lead us out of the exile of our suffering. The Buddha taught 2,00 years ago, almost all of our suffering comes from our misguided beliefs about what is real. Mindfulness - awareness of our thoughts and what turmoil they are creating - is the first step on the path out of mental and emotional bondage.
After decades of having the honor of mentoring and guiding people on the deeply personal journey of emotional recovery, trust has been the most universal roadblock I’ve encountered. Whether spoken or a message in our eyes, the body subtly reveals layers of guardedness. Being genuinely open, vulnerable or intimate with another human being is almost always elusive, and sadly, without it we develop what Freud called “defense mechanisms” to protect us. In doing so we protect ourselves in the moment, but in the long run we break down our own systems over time – physically and emotionally, psychologically and spiritually –unconsciously protecting ourselves from another occurrence of the imagined harm we once had in our past.
The part of the brain that does this for us is called the limbic-reptilian system. It’s automatic, unconscious and repetitive,and it activates our entire body for defense. We can defend with aggression, fleeing or freezing, but in all cases it takes up great chunks of our energy and shuts down systems that aren’t immediately important to our survival – like our immune systems. If we stay in a state of hyper-vigilance,chronic worry, obsession, agitation, irritation or numbness over time, we drain our batteries. We become depleted of our essential energy, our life force. Relationships, bodies, spirits weaken and eventually decay. This describes our descent into personal hell.
Without the freedom to be genuine, open and emotionally intimate, there is no way that we can truly be fed, or complete as a human being. We are “social animals”, meant to connect with others. So if we cannot let that guard down, allow ourselves to find out how to be real, to give and receive real connection, we suffer. Until we unlearn – or at least become aware of everything we unconsciously learned about defending ourselves from what we originally perceived to be scary, threatening and dangerous (like trust or intimacy, for example), until we learn that we have the power to create an atmosphere of emotional safety for ourselves wherever we are, the world is not a safe place for us. We don’t trust. We spend our lives – consciously or not – running from what we believe will hurt us. And numbing what we don’t believe we can handle feeling. Pushing away anything and anyone who might resemble the original sources of our pain. Reacting, not living life… and not knowing the power we were given at birth to really choose how we live our lives.
This website was created to give you your power back. With love. Ellen
One thing we now know, literally know for sure is that when we consciously pause and slowly inhale, exhale, and do that again a few more times…. We change our brain chemistry, and when at that moment we learn how to become the observers of our thoughts and actions, to take the position of the witness, we move from the<a href='http://www.kinsolutions.com' target='_blank'>Web Hosting</a> by KIN Solutions base of the mountain to the top. We see the vista of our options. We reconnect with our choice.
In the Old Testament God said: I put before you the Blessing and the Curse; Choose Life. If we consider that this commandment is actually a loving cue from the universe, perhaps we have been given a hint, a simple secret of life from the Source. At each moment of NOW we have a choice to think of what is life-giving or life-depleting - and then we get to choose it... or not. In that sense we really were created in the image of God. We create, with every choice in every moment, what happens next in our minds, our attitudes, our lives.
The fact that we have this internal compass - the capacity to pause and listen internally to the voice that knows intuitive what is truly life enhancing - means that we all have what will lead us out of the exile of our suffering. The Buddha taught 2,00 years ago, almost all of our suffering comes from our misguided beliefs about what is real. Mindfulness - awareness of our thoughts and what turmoil they are creating - is the first step on the path out of mental and emotional bondage.
After decades of having the honor of mentoring and guiding people on the deeply personal journey of emotional recovery, trust has been the most universal roadblock I’ve encountered. Whether spoken or a message in our eyes, the body subtly reveals layers of guardedness. Being genuinely open, vulnerable or intimate with another human being is almost always elusive, and sadly, without it we develop what Freud called “defense mechanisms” to protect us. In doing so we protect ourselves in the moment, but in the long run we break down our own systems over time – physically and emotionally, psychologically and spiritually –unconsciously protecting ourselves from another occurrence of the imagined harm we once had in our past.
The part of the brain that does this for us is called the limbic-reptilian system. It’s automatic, unconscious and repetitive,and it activates our entire body for defense. We can defend with aggression, fleeing or freezing, but in all cases it takes up great chunks of our energy and shuts down systems that aren’t immediately important to our survival – like our immune systems. If we stay in a state of hyper-vigilance,chronic worry, obsession, agitation, irritation or numbness over time, we drain our batteries. We become depleted of our essential energy, our life force. Relationships, bodies, spirits weaken and eventually decay. This describes our descent into personal hell.
Without the freedom to be genuine, open and emotionally intimate, there is no way that we can truly be fed, or complete as a human being. We are “social animals”, meant to connect with others. So if we cannot let that guard down, allow ourselves to find out how to be real, to give and receive real connection, we suffer. Until we unlearn – or at least become aware of everything we unconsciously learned about defending ourselves from what we originally perceived to be scary, threatening and dangerous (like trust or intimacy, for example), until we learn that we have the power to create an atmosphere of emotional safety for ourselves wherever we are, the world is not a safe place for us. We don’t trust. We spend our lives – consciously or not – running from what we believe will hurt us. And numbing what we don’t believe we can handle feeling. Pushing away anything and anyone who might resemble the original sources of our pain. Reacting, not living life… and not knowing the power we were given at birth to really choose how we live our lives.
This website was created to give you your power back. With love. Ellen
Ellen Katz MS. LMFT, Clinical Director - Inner Balance Northbrook, Chicago, Palm Springs
(847) 224-0244 ellen@ellenkatz.net